Bitterness

Today I had to witness what bitterness in the heart can cause to someone. It is a very painful experience. Sometimes what we say to others might not mean anything to us but it definitely means something to another person.

Apparently Jane had been saying mean things about Mercy,( not their real names) . Mercy is a quiet and a soft spoken person . In fact you wouldn’t know she exist if you don’t go checking on her. She is always in her house if not at the office .

Women who like idling around and gossip here and there are the route to all problems around the hood. Jane is amongst them. We all know Jane as a chatter-box and anything cannot happen around without her knowledge.  She was nicknamed reporter since she likes reporting everything that goes around to the exact destination the message is supposed to be delivered. Apart from gossip she is very good at heart .

All these mean things have been hurting Mercy until she reached a point she could not tolerate at all. The tolerance had been too much since she thought they  are just mere gossip.

In the morning Mercy started talking to herself softly in her room. No one knew what was happening so we thought may be she was on phone talking to someone but we were wrong. She was addressing Jane indirectly.  Mercy’s tonal variation had gone up now and everyone could hear everything she was talking about. All this while Jane was inside paying attention silently. Jane came out to defend herself but the bitter Mercy could not stop talking. She even started crying as she talked and was not ready to be consoled or be controlled . We saw her different side. No one thought she could even talk to someone in that manner because of her soft  nature. We were left with no other choice but to control the two from attacking one another. We could not believe it. At the end of it all, the two made peace with one another and unity was restored. I am sure Jane wouldn’t dare cross that path again since she now knows who Mercy is and what she can be like if she gets mad and bitter.

Bitterness is something very bad. It causes anger and unnecessary talks . When someone is bitter it is very important to give them their space and make them speak out their minds until they calm down. It will make them let everything  off their chest and the heavy load they’ve been carrying  will be gone. Be patient with them. Don’t provoke them because they might hurt themselves or the person they are mad about. .

So I really learnt  a few things from that  experience and wanted to share with you guys.

They are as follows;

  1. Do not take peoples’ silence for their weakness.
  2. Respect is  a two way thing.When you respect me I will do the same and vice versa.
  3. Never undersestimate the power of silence.
  4. Gossip is very bad and can cause unnecesary fights, hatred and tragedies.
  5. Be considerate of other peoples’  feelings and emotions.

 

Hello guys , thanks for reading.

Nicole.

 

Advertisements

Amazing Friend

Let me tell you something about my friend.

She is very lovely and beautiful.

When I am at my weak t moment she comforts me.

She ensures that I am safe and in good health.

When she misses me she gives me a call.

Sometimes we go to the beach and swim our hearts out,

the beach is always our best spot.

We can laugh all day long and catch a gossip here and there.

It’s very difficult trusting friends but I trust her.

She has never hurt me in any way nor have I.

We respect each other that’s for sure.

We met in campus when we were in our first year.

I remember very well the fist time  we talked to each other, she was asking for some notes and I  helped her. That’s how the friendship started.

It’s been a while and we are still friends.

People say that ladies don’t keep friendship for long but  we have kept ours.

Infact I only have about three friends that are trustable.

I am sending love to all those friends who keep us smiling even during tough times.

You are a blessing in someones heart

You are simply  AMAZING.

 

 

 

 

It’s been a while friends , I hope you are fine.

Nicole.

 

Rape Culture

I am saddened by the increasing number of rape cases in this century. I thought rape was a forgone case but it seems I was wrong. It is happening and that’s the reality. 

In fact our men are also victims. It is not women /girls  only. Men and boys get raped too. Yes but they fear  talking about it leave alone reporting. Some get sodomized but they rather remain silent than report to the authorities. Gone are the days when the authorities took such cases seriously but today’s police are doomed. Instead of helping you they add salt to your injuries. Take for instance a man who gets raped and takes a decision to go to the police and report the incident. Even with clear evidence the police will not take him seriously. Instead they will mock him and tell him to his face how weak he is that someone tries to rape him and he can’t defend himself. “Be a man” that’s the word they commonly use. Imagine the emotional and psychological torture the man will go through in his quest to  seek for justice. He will go home disappointed and can never trust the authorities again. That’s why the men go through such violations but no one will know about the incident from anywhere. It will be between them and their God. This is very bad and dangerous  because they can never forget that fateful day or night. It will be in their memories and they will live in fear . 

They need counseling to be able to continue with their lives and be assured of the future and not focus on the past. Counseling only comes when you’ve shared your story and seek help. Those who don’t seek help always try to forget about the incident but it keeps coming back . They tend to fear darkness and loneliness. They can’t be alone even for a moment because it will remind them of the past. That’s how sad it is. Counseling gives them the confidence and courage to be brave and face the world again with shoulders high and more focused. They need to first accept what happened to them even as they go through counselling. It will also help them seek for the  justice  they deserve.

On the ladies side, I wonder why people tend to think that the victim has to be blamed when she gets raped. Some people will say how she was dressing provocatively, she was drunk, she was at a dangerous place blah blah blah.. .. …

Come on you can’t justify rape with such things. No one has a right over your body whether you are walking naked , drunk or wherever you might be.  No one has a right to force you into sexual intercourse. Oh and rape does not happen to strangers only. Some people get raped in their own homes. There are husbands who rape their wives and vice versa or even boyfriends who take advantage of their girlfriends. In my country some say that they get drugged and later find themselves in awkward situations. It is also good to choose your friends and partners wisely. Not all are guardian angels. Some are beasts inside it’s only that it doesn’t show because the time is not ripe yet. 

However the case , never justify and glorify rape. Today it is happening to a stranger, tomorrow it might happen to you, your friend, neighbour or worst still a close  relative. It will be very sad for you and that’s when you’ll realize how hard it is to have a rape victim who happens to be close to you. 

When you can, help them. The most difficult challenge  is finding the perpetrators. Some may be known to them but in situations where the  incident happens when one is not sobre,  it becomes difficult to locate and find the perpetrators. They walk freely in our day to day lives as if they’ve never done such terrible acts to others. They should not be bailed out when cought. They should just rot in jail but good riddance to the power of money nowdays. Money is the root of all evil so they say, I conquer. With money justice is denied to those who seek it.  It manipulates everything. That’s why rape cases cannot end. 

I wonder why no one follows the law these days. If only I was in charge of the authorities, by now we would be very afraid to mention even the word rape around or a perpetrator.

Rape is rape, there is no justification to it.

Image: Google 

Happy International Women’s Day

How can I forget such a beautiful day,

A day to celebrate all the precious women around the globe

That always make sure everyone is doing fine without complaining

Always ensuring that everyone’s need is catered for .

They are very generous and beautiful, not to forget intelligent.

Some of them hold very high positions in the society but they don’t show off.

Oh and some are number one family persons  that you always want to talk to and share your feelings with.

On this day I wish to celebrate all the women around the world doing something good  in the society.

Happy International women’s day.

Wife Beating

I woke up this morning to a shocking news on television on wife  beating and harassment at home. I felt so bad watching such horrible news very early in the morning now that we are approaching international women’s day. The news captured a wife and her husband exchanging words and within seconds, she received a thorough beating from her beloved. The lady was interviewed and  she was talking about how her husband do mistreat her in the house, abuse her and beat her up  but when they are in public, he pretends to be a gentleman and acts like one so that no one can know what transpires  behind their back. I felt so bad and was wondering how  wives cope with such treatments from  their husbands .

It makes me so weak that I don’t even wish to  get married  someday for fear of being beaten with my lovely and lawfully wedded husband . I  know am not alone in this, but this is the current state of affairs. Young ladies are afraid of getting married for different reasons this being one of them.  What I can say is that communication is a good weapon here. It will make things work out between husbands and wives. Talk things through to avoid misunderstandings. Small misunderstandings could be terrible if not well communicated in time.

wife-beating-domestic-violence

We all make mistakes and that’s natural for a normal human being but how we rectify these mistakes is a story for another day. Men will argue  that they beat their wives to correct their mistakes and change  their behaviors . You tell me, how will beating help one change? It will only bring fear to your partner such that when you come home, you may talk alone because the fear you have inflicted in your wife may make her become numb when you are around.She will have to keep quiet  because she don’t want to be beaten when she talks back.  If such continues the marriage will break. So many marriages have been broken because of these minor beatings that later turn out to be  big nightmares in a woman’s life.

When I look around and see women being beaten by their husbands, one question I  ask myself, is this for better for worse? Some women will say they are staying with their abusive husbands to protect their families, home, children and don’t  want to break their marriages . Their mothers will tell them to adjust and be strong but what surprises me the most is that no man at any point will be blamed for such incidences, only the woman will be blamed. The society has given women a heavy responsibility of carrying everyone’s  burden and mistakes. When the burdens  become  too heavy, they carry their belonging and leave but the victims who are men  will never pack and go especially here in Africa. It takes a lot of guts to be a woman.

All in all,  we should not allow ourselves to be victims of wife beating. Remember if you are beaten today , there is a possibility of being beaten tomorrow. Continuous beatings could lead to assaults , severe trauma, stress and death . Take care of yourself and talk things out calmly before they become a tragedy. Let communication be your tool of support and if by any chance you become a victim, seek help from someone or talk to anyone you trust. Don’t suffer alone , talk, talk , talk.

 

photo credit : Google

 

 

Hey , its been a while since I last  posted, hope you guys are doing well. Lots of love from this side,

Nicole.

 

It’s Okay To Cry 

Just cry it all out my friend,

It’s okay to cry,

Don’t be  compelled by anyone,

You owe no one dry eyes.

When the pain is too much to bear,

Just let it go with tears,

It will ease your pain,

It will calm you down,

And feel whole again.
Crying makes one feel at peace sometimes,

I hear people say men should not cry,

Yet I have seen them break down,

My friend ,

it’s okay to cry,

It’s human.

We all have our weak moments,

That make us emotional, It’s okay if you cry in such times. 
When you lose a loved one, 

Tears roll down your eyes unexpectedly,

It’s okay if you cry,

People will understand your pain,

The pain of losing a close friend,

The pain of losing a parent,

The pain of losing a close relative,

The pain of losing a colleague,

The pain of losing a partner,

Don’t just try to be hard on yourself,

That you want people to see  you are strong,

Yet deep  inside you feel shuttered,

It’s okay if you break down to tears.
Holding back pain is very dangerous,

Yes it is,

I know of a colleague,

Who went strong after losing a brother, parent and son in a span of two months,

In our eyes she appeared to be strong,

And wasn’t shedding tears,

Yet deep inside she was filled with frustration, 

Depression and loneliness.

She pretended to be fine ,

She hid the pain,

Until one certain day ,

When she could not hold back any longer,

She committed suicide.

No one could understand the situation at all.

It was painful that she ended her own life .

Don’t just be burdened by pain ,

Let it go.

Cry it loud if you can,

Shout if you can,

Because when you cry and shout,

You let the anger go,

You ease the pain,

You loosen yourself,

You let the frustrations out,

You let the disappointments out,

It’s okay , just cry and make peace with yourself .

It will be okay someday.

Goodbye 2017

It was a good year for me here in WordPress. I took writing seriously and met new bloggers. Those who shared their pain,sorrows,joy and  happiness with us may you be blessed abundantly.

Thank you my readers, followers,friends, fellow writers and bloggers. May 2018 be good to us as well .

Happy new year friends