Happy International Women’s Day

How can I forget such a beautiful day,

A day to celebrate all the precious women around the globe

That always make sure everyone is doing fine without complaining

Always ensuring that everyone’s need is catered for .

They are very generous and beautiful, not to forget intelligent.

Some of them hold very high positions in the society but they don’t show off.

Oh and some are number one family persons  that you always want to talk to and share your feelings with.

On this day I wish to celebrate all the women around the world doing something good  in the society.

Happy International women’s day.

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Wife Beating

I woke up this morning to a shocking news on television on wife  beating and harassment at home. I felt so bad watching such horrible news very early in the morning now that we are approaching international women’s day. The news captured a wife and her husband exchanging words and within seconds, she received a thorough beating from her beloved. The lady was interviewed and  she was talking about how her husband do mistreat her in the house, abuse her and beat her up  but when they are in public, he pretends to be a gentleman and acts like one so that no one can know what transpires  behind their back. I felt so bad and was wondering how  wives cope with such treatments from  their husbands .

It makes me so weak that I don’t even wish to  get married  someday for fear of being beaten with my lovely and lawfully wedded husband . I  know am not alone in this, but this is the current state of affairs. Young ladies are afraid of getting married for different reasons this being one of them.  What I can say is that communication is a good weapon here. It will make things work out between husbands and wives. Talk things through to avoid misunderstandings. Small misunderstandings could be terrible if not well communicated in time.

wife-beating-domestic-violence

We all make mistakes and that’s natural for a normal human being but how we rectify these mistakes is a story for another day. Men will argue  that they beat their wives to correct their mistakes and change  their behaviors . You tell me, how will beating help one change? It will only bring fear to your partner such that when you come home, you may talk alone because the fear you have inflicted in your wife may make her become numb when you are around.She will have to keep quiet  because she don’t want to be beaten when she talks back.  If such continues the marriage will break. So many marriages have been broken because of these minor beatings that later turn out to be  big nightmares in a woman’s life.

When I look around and see women being beaten by their husbands, one question I  ask myself, is this for better for worse? Some women will say they are staying with their abusive husbands to protect their families, home, children and don’t  want to break their marriages . Their mothers will tell them to adjust and be strong but what surprises me the most is that no man at any point will be blamed for such incidences, only the woman will be blamed. The society has given women a heavy responsibility of carrying everyone’s  burden and mistakes. When the burdens  become  too heavy, they carry their belonging and leave but the victims who are men  will never pack and go especially here in Africa. It takes a lot of guts to be a woman.

All in all,  we should not allow ourselves to be victims of wife beating. Remember if you are beaten today , there is a possibility of being beaten tomorrow. Continuous beatings could lead to assaults , severe trauma, stress and death . Take care of yourself and talk things out calmly before they become a tragedy. Let communication be your tool of support and if by any chance you become a victim, seek help from someone or talk to anyone you trust. Don’t suffer alone , talk, talk , talk.

 

photo credit : Google

 

 

Hey , its been a while since I last  posted, hope you guys are doing well. Lots of love from this side,

Nicole.

 

It’s Okay To Cry 

Just cry it all out my friend,

It’s okay to cry,

Don’t be  compelled by anyone,

You owe no one dry eyes.

When the pain is too much to bear,

Just let it go with tears,

It will ease your pain,

It will calm you down,

And feel whole again.
Crying makes one feel at peace sometimes,

I hear people say men should not cry,

Yet I have seen them break down,

My friend ,

it’s okay to cry,

It’s human.

We all have our weak moments,

That make us emotional, It’s okay if you cry in such times. 
When you lose a loved one, 

Tears roll down your eyes unexpectedly,

It’s okay if you cry,

People will understand your pain,

The pain of losing a close friend,

The pain of losing a parent,

The pain of losing a close relative,

The pain of losing a colleague,

The pain of losing a partner,

Don’t just try to be hard on yourself,

That you want people to see  you are strong,

Yet deep  inside you feel shuttered,

It’s okay if you break down to tears.
Holding back pain is very dangerous,

Yes it is,

I know of a colleague,

Who went strong after losing a brother, parent and son in a span of two months,

In our eyes she appeared to be strong,

And wasn’t shedding tears,

Yet deep inside she was filled with frustration, 

Depression and loneliness.

She pretended to be fine ,

She hid the pain,

Until one certain day ,

When she could not hold back any longer,

She committed suicide.

No one could understand the situation at all.

It was painful that she ended her own life .

Don’t just be burdened by pain ,

Let it go.

Cry it loud if you can,

Shout if you can,

Because when you cry and shout,

You let the anger go,

You ease the pain,

You loosen yourself,

You let the frustrations out,

You let the disappointments out,

It’s okay , just cry and make peace with yourself .

It will be okay someday.

Goodbye 2017

It was a good year for me here in WordPress. I took writing seriously and met new bloggers. Those who shared their pain,sorrows,joy and  happiness with us may you be blessed abundantly.

Thank you my readers, followers,friends, fellow writers and bloggers. May 2018 be good to us as well .

Happy new year friends

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone.

Such a wonderful time to be happy.

A time to laugh and share meals with everyone.

A time to forget about all the sorrows you’ve been through ,

And just celebrate the moment with others with a smile on your face.

Remember to be thankful to God for this far and don’t celebrate alone ,invite a friend over or a relative and share the little you have.

Oh and New year is knocking so spend wisely…

Nicole wishes you a Merry Christmas full of blessings and a prosperous new year. 

She Suffered Silently

She grew up up in a family where men were considered strong.
Women were not given any say and the only place they had was the kitchen. 

They could not hold a conversation with men at the same time. The society taught them to be submissive.

Whenever they tried to explain themselves, they were made to shut up.

She did not get the quality education like her other brothers. 

At certain point, she wanted to continue with her education but she was not allowed to pursue such a dream because her society only educated the men. She was told there were no finances while her brothers got the same education . Right from the family she was not happy. She was forced into  marriage. At that time women were to get married and not go to school.

She wasn’t happy with this marriage either but she had no say. She got married at long last after pressure from the family and the society. Her only place was in the kitchen here as well .Her work was to give birth, make her husband happy and she was not to complain at any point in her life. 

At times she could be beaten by her husband all day long. She had bruises all over her body but no one could come for her rescue. She suffered in silence . She was not allowed to go back home because her home was now here with her husband and the society had put it that way. 

Her children grew up seeing how their mother suffered in their father’s hands. The children got tortured psychologically but couldn’t go against “Papa” There were sorrows written all over their faces from mother to children but the husband cared less about it.

Then she came to realize that she had undergone so much abuses in her marriage and enough was enough . She took her ground and started defending herself, speaking to the husband and telling him about his wrong behaviors and torture. The husband felt betrayed by the wife as he claimed she had no respect because she started talking about situations. She did not stop. She asked for help from third parties  to help her out.

Speaking up helped her a lot as  she found out that there were others who also  went through the same and never told anyone.

They joined by her and stood their grounds against abuse of women at the family level and society. This empowerment impacted knowledge on them and some went back to school to continue with their education.

They could now fight for their rights and space in every aspect .
Speak out , don’t suffer in silence .

#16DaysOfActivism

#SpeakAgainstGBV