There is nothing good about my 21st birthday, nothing at all as far as I can remember. It was during those tough moments that I was struggling to mend ways to integrate with everyone. I could smile at school but cry when am back home in my closet.
I am one person who doesn’t fancy birthdays. I’d rather just sit somewhere alone and reflect on my life and not disclose to anyone my whereabouts. People always get excited when they start their early 20’s and such should be the case. There was nothing to be excited about on my end. I kept it to myself. I had quarreled with everyone back home and was in a very bad mood. I knew it was my birthday the day before but after losing my temper on the d-day while on phone with random relatives, I lost it all. Everything changed at that moment and I switched off my phone not to be disturbed by anyone or receive birthday wishes. In fact, I had no friends at that time. One thing I find difficult is to make new friends. I could be smiling and chatting with you everyday but that doesn’t mean we are friends. It takes time for me to confide to someone and call them friends. I was in that house alone , angry at the world and the worst being that it was on my birthday.
At around 8:00 pm I went to buy alcohol for myself to relieve my pain and forget about everything. I enjoyed it alone and undisturbed . Good thing with me is that I could buy alcohol and drive myself home so that I take it where I won’t disturb other people. When I get drunk then it will be in my house and will just wake up the next day. That’s how I was. That’s history now, I don’t drink anymore.
Back to the night, I didn’t know what happened next after getting drunk in my room . I just woke up with a serious headache the following morning and that was it. I didn’t celebrate it. No cake, no Friends, no relatives , no boyfriend, no nothing, just me and myself.